Moving-Anxiety Transfers to Moving-Confidently

It seems most people anticipating a move or long-term trip to a new place get anxious. This anxiety is likely a result of uncertainty. Uncertainty forces our mind to race with thoughts. Sure, uncertainty can have you thinking hopefully or fantastically, but it’s the lingering thoughts of terror or failure that get annoying and burdensome. Furthermore, uncertainty is compounded with anticipated loss, as you predict you’ll miss your people and places. These can be alleviated or cured with the following coping mechanisms.

1. Educate yourself on the new place.

2. Engage your current place.

3. Form fail-safes and fall-backs

Here’s the details:

I. Begin your education with a cartographic approach. Using just Google Maps, you can study the topography, surrounding towns and locations, and then map routes from here to there to get an intuition for distance and main roads. Then “drive” around on the street-view to note architecture, plants, and other details. It’s adventurous rather than confusing when you have a mental map in place, being able to glance at your navigation rather than nervously staring at a map while new things go by unnoticed . Once you have confidence in traversing the area on your own, likely you’ll find your own way and more. It’s also gratifying to be able to discuss with locals about places and routes, advise yourself of places your interested in, and impress or out-do locals with your cartographic skills. Another map related point of study is public transportation options, bike routes and trails, and backstreets that take you off the main drag.

A map of a new area, regardless if it’s wilderness or metropolis, will be daunting and confusing. The first time you study a map it doesn’t show you much. The dozenth time, it’s revealing all its secrets. Pick a place and work your way out, noting salient landmarks, things that are unique, major roads, rails, and waterways, elevation changes, long roads to nowhere and dead-end zones. Then figure a place that’s most relevant, such as your home or work, and look into the finer details; keep delving and be sure to occasionally review what you think you know. One last bit, strive to know where you’re going rather than rely on a navigation device every time. It’s good practice in many ways.

II. If you feel anxious you are likely to also be withdrawn, whether physically or mentally. This will end up causing regret later when you think back on your home and realize you didn’t spend your last days wisely. Be sure to rendezvous with every person you care about and express your care to them. Then plan to communicate consistently. (E.g. planning a Saturday phone call doesn’t need to be obligatory, it’s the perceived agreement to uphold, that prevents people from being too lazy to stay in touch.)

Further, meet your friends in memorable places you both cherish. When you’re there, try to really see every detail and enjoy every little thing. Be sentimental, finding things you’ll always be grateful to remember, remember the memories, look deeper than ever, give your special places a grand final tour to remember; you both deserve that. With an identical attitude, go to your favorite private place and enjoy your familiar peace with gratitude, not pre-emptive sorrow.

All this is perhaps ironically comforting; instead of making you miss it more, you are content that you paid your last respects with a positive and engaging mind. Even if you can’t help but miss your people and places, know that your cartographic attentiveness will lead you to new places to embrace and new people to relate.

The end result should be your previous place is a guaranteed good time and your new place likewise. You see, there is only a loss if you allow it; and only a gain if you achieve it. Two homelands with two communities you appreciate is possible with effort. Effort is easier when you’re not focusing on what you’ll miss, but rather what you will always have and what your about to add to it.

III. If your worries are beyond homesick and more about security, abide to the above two while planning your insurances. Depending on the specifics, apply to several jobs to feel safe you’ll have a lineup for income source potential if your main game doesn’t pan out. Make sure your vehicle is high-functioning and your being healthy and fit. Ask loved ones if they can help you if something went wrong, or ask advice from your elders and wisers. Brainstorm odd misfortunes and how you can curtail them. This may sound like a feeder for concerns and nightmares, but it’s a far better feeling to know you’ve addressed every little possible perturbance than to real what ignorance sows. Even if you think of something that you can’t make a plan for, it’s comforting to know you are aware of it, which means you can likely foresee it instead of blindsided by it. Certainty in planning can be bolstered by your anticipation for making new networks that may be fail-safes to come.

All in all, if you imagine the worst and plan the best, there is no reason to be afraid. Without fear, uncertainty, regret, and worried rumination you’ll not only be alleviated from your move-anxiety, you’ll be excited in anticipation for your move to new-found-glory.

8 Comments

  1. This is excellent! So wise and well thought out and well executed! This should be printed in some periodical. Excellent advice and coaching!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I have moved 19 times so far. I moved from Europe to Canada in 2004 which was the biggest and simplest move: with 1 suitcase.
    It isn’t really the new place that scares, it is usually a lot of work and starting from scratch again. I love gardening, so, that means starting all over again.
    I have a lot of paintings, and this means reorganizing everything.
    I believe the scariest part is the huge work which we could avoid otherwise.
    The big plus of moving is getting rid of unnecessary things.
    I know one thing for sure: if you feel the new is totally what you are not, do not move there.
    I once moved to a tiny town, rather big village, and I could not live there. I believed I could adjust, but when everything is completely different (small town rumors, everybody watching every step, everybody discussing everything) it makes living impossible since I came from downtown of a big city that time.
    One must be comfortable with the main settings in the new place.
    In big cities, like they are in Canada, nobody generally cares. You just move and be happy if you find there what you were looking for.
    Moving at old age is much more difficult than when one is 18 or 20. It is probably because of deep-rooted habits we develop over time. It is also much more difficult to make friends and get engaged in the local life at older age.
    Interesting! How many times have you moved?
    I assume myself a moving expert already.
    I am worry-free when I start early and everything is extra organized, every box has a label and indication to what room in the new place it goes. It is never so that one person can carry out the entire move.
    Thanks for such a post! I think people have to move more frequently nowadays.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your comment. I agree and have found some moves fantastic, some challenging, some a let-down from fantasy, and all an adventure nonetheless. I’ve moved several times from 18 to 28. My favorite part is going with a couple bags, always minimizing my life and starting anew with uncertainty ahead.

      Like

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